There are certain television shows and movies that I just cannot stand to watch, shows that set up a situation, which, like a time bomb, threatens to blow up in the face of characters, particularly those involved in the carrying out of the plan. These are not necessarily horror shows. Horror movies really do not pull into them such that I am able to distance myself from them. On the other hand, there are certain situational set-ups, often where one character does something which threatens to shatter the the self, the psyche of someone else, I just can’t stand to watch.
I remember one episode of the Family Guy where Meg believes joins the Flag Squad with the hopes that she might finally be accepted by the cool kids. At one point in the show, she and her fellow Flag Squad members perform at the half time show during a football game. The cool kids in an attempt to embarrass and humiliate Meg use a catapult to hurl raw rancid meat at Meg. I think out of all the Family Guy shows this particular episode bothers me the most.
I was not the coolest kid in school. I want to believe I was not on the bottom of the social ladder either. I was never really the subject of humiliation or ridicule, and I count my lucky stars that was the case. However, I saw it occur, and it bothered me so much so that I refused to hand out with this who engaged in such activities and even went on the offensive, often humiliating and ridiculing those who tormented those who did not have the same social aptitude as others. I respected those who stayed on the fringe, who really did not care with others thought.
It is funny how as you grow older, things that matter when you were younger do not matter that much any more. When not forced into social situations, the same bullying present in primary and secondary schools seem to fade away. People with same likes or occupations generally hang out together. But as the saying goes, deep wounds are hard to heal.
Even today, I find myself reverting to my old practice of making things about me and them. I often find myself judging people I do not know making them my unknowing nemesis, a person to fuel my distrust and dislike. My nemesis often propels me to exceed at whatever matters most to that person. This is done out of spite, to make my nemesis understand that he is not the only person who can do well.
Comically, my nemesis never knows that I have singled them out as the person who most be fought and beaten. I never have words with them. Never let them get to know me.
Inarguably, this competitiveness can be healthy, but, it is done at the expense of person who does not know me. My need to draw this line, a distinction made between us and them, creates a barrier that prevents me from possibly gaining a new friend.
A good friend of mine once told me that when he first met me, he has a strong dislike of me. I imagine he drew the line, the distinction barrier which prevented him and I from being friends. Perhaps a year later, we found ourselves in the same social situation; we broke bread at lunch every day. We found ourselves talking together and getting to know each other. From there, we grew in friendship, perhaps one of the closest friendships I have ever had.
I try to be a little more tolerant of people today. I typically try hard to listen others. I attempt to give them a chance before I make judgments about them. I try to remember that there are differing view points than my own and try to honestly understand those view points. It is hard, but, in the end, it has made me a much less angrier person.
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